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Showing posts from April, 2008

Plague of the Zombies (1966) Review

Conclusion
A highly influential zombie film that still regards the White Zombie inspired traditional link between Voodoo and the undead with a modicum of respect. There are no toxic substances or medical explanations for zombies here, only Voodoo tainted blood.

A British made film from the prestigious Hammer collection. Highly recommended for horror buffs, especially because it is the only Hammer zombie film, but it would probably put fans of films paced like The Matrix to sleep. An unsettling sleep, but sleep nonetheless.

Plot synopsis
Sir James Forbes is a highly respected doctor. He is summoned to a remote Cornish village by one of his former students, doctor Peter Tompson, to help deal with a mysterious disease. The illness is killing off villagers, but since the locals are superstitious, the doctor had been unable to perform any kind of autopsy.

Sylvia, the daughter of Sir Forbes, accompanies her father on his journey to the countryside to reinforce her feeling of silver spoon superi…

Is Emo Influenced By Buddhism?

“Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true.”
Buddha

The Million Blog Project
I'm # 123



Some correlations between Buddhism and emo

In The chauvinist guide to feminism, part 2, I poked fun at emo. Emo, just like religion, is an easy target, but just because it is an easy target doesn't mean it shouldn't be stomped on once in a while. Stomping on homo-erotic fascinations such as these reinforces their respective persecution complexi. Once, the Romans fed Christians to lions, now we merely feed their pathologies.


Shannon Elizabeth. Not emo. Not Buddhist. Just right.

I'd pick on Islam, but those guys don't know how to fly and I live in a tall building. I resolved to poke …

Back From the Dead and Hungry For More: Return of the Living Dead 3 Review

Conclusion
Zombies, lots of gore and buckets of blood. This is a terrible horror film, but I happen to like terrible horror movies, especially when they contain zombies, lots of gore and buckets of blood.

Plot
You mean you need a plot when you have zombies, lots of gore and buckets of blood? All you need is zealous observation of my ten commandments of horror.

Review
Naturally, an outbreak of zombies means we have to get the military to nuke them. In order to gather all the zombies at an appropriate place for their genocide, you need serious zombie-human diplomacy skills. It's not always as simple as letting them run mindlessly after fireworks or after a little girl in a red hood.

Being a conflict catalyst myself, I don't know much about resolving conflict. I googled a bit and found a helpful guide from mister Jim Murdoch, named the Five Finger Rule for Conflict.
Rule 1: Take a hike
Rule 2: Remember that when you point to accuse someone that 3 fingers are pointing back.
Rule 3: Show n…

Completely Inappropriate Synopses of Selected Steven Spielberg Films

Steven Spielberg, one of the most celebrated directors of our time.

This evolved out of a forum game. The purpose of the game is to provide a completely inappropriate synopsis for movies. This inappropriate synopsis should either
spoil the plot
offend the reader
offend the writer
offend the reader, offend the writer and spoil the plot
be otherwise inappropriate
If you sugar-coated a synopsis with quiet diplomacy and politically correct terms and it still had a foul politically incorrect stench, you are on the right track.

Reminds me of a similar game president Robert Mugabe and president Thabo Mbeki like to play with people's lives, namely give a completely inappropriate synopsis of the current state of your country.

My version of completely inappropriate movie synopses will not endanger human lives (other than my own, perhaps) and is less hurtful. But not much.

I did not try to be as politically incorrect as I could, but I did try to step on a few toes. To aid me in my quest, I looked at …

Review of Divine Intervention by Slayer

Conclusion
The first real metal album I ever heard, and still probably the best. This is a completely biased review, because I love this album more than I love blonde lesbians making out with me.

I love this album almost as much as I love blonde bisexual girls making out with me. Every metal album I have heard since has been measured by Divine Intervention. The album, not the cow probing or the Elvis Presley U.F.O sightings.



Blonde bisexual girls making out with each other. Just kidding, this is 213 performed live by Slayer. Hell yeah!

Review
This album came out in 1994, the year grunge king Kurt Cobain committed suicide. Grunge was all the rage. Slayer hasn't delivered an album since 1990's Seasons In The Abyss. Since then, they lost a key member – drummer Dave Lombardo. Will Slayer bow down to the slacker grunge mediocrity of Pearl Jam and Nirvana? Nay nay.

Slayer gets new drummer Paul Bostaph to introduce this album with some wild drum rolls. After that, you get some awesome r…

The chauvinist guide to feminism, part 2

Where feminists are wrong
"As a result of the feminist revolution, 'feminine' becomes an abusive epithet." Wyndham Lewis

This is a sequel to The Chauvinist guide to Feminism, part 1. Let's have a look at a few instances where feminism got it wrong:
the role of feminism in censorship
the role of feminism in political correctness
feminist views on pornography
biological roles of women
the cultural roles of women
feminism in linguistics
Censorshit: Feminism in censorship
"All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality; all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are sides, and it is necessary for one side to beat another side." Virginia Woolf

The Rolling Stones launched their album Black and Blue with a controversial press campaign. A billboard depicting an S&M fan beaten black and blue read: "I'm Black and Blue from the Rolling Stones — and I love it!&quo…

The original House On Haunted Hill (1959) Movie Review

“Vincent Price was the kind of actor who could make a golf game seem foreboding.”Merlyn Trey Hunter


Conclusion
A 1959 black and white horror film that is still more scary than any politically correct, demographically represented teenie bopper Paris Hilton-starring Hollywood remakes of latter years. Honestly, the House of Wax teen movie remake should rather be called House of P.C. Cheap Plastic.

The pace of the film is odd. Other than that, it is a good film.

Plot

Fredrick Loren (Vincent Price) is a sinister playboy who hosts an amusing party shindig at his haunted mansion.
Each guest gets a tiny coffin with a loaded handgun in it and as much single malt scotch as they can carry. The survivors get $10 000. No, I did not put my pinkie in my mouth when I typed that.
Of course, it's not as smooth as surviving the night in a haunted mansion with a bunch of AA (armed alcoholics) members and an imposing acid bath in the fine wine cellar. Fredrick's wife, Annabelle (Carol Ohmart, who looks…

Darker Days Ahead by Terrorizer (2006) Review

Conclusion
Pete Sandoval on drums and the Mexecutioner, Jesse Pintado, on guitar for the last album he recorded before he sadly passed away due to a liver that couldn't keep up with the party. It is the only grindcore album I own, and my knowledge of the genre is limited to singing along to a few Anal Blast songs, so take my review with a pinch of salt and a shot of tequila. But I like it.

After recently reading up on clostridium botulinum, I decided this little fellow is so awesome that I had to dedicate most of my new layout to the bacterium. You may know c.botulinum as food poisoning or Botox, but I know it as the cause of botulism. Probably the most toxic substance known, a 2 kg bag of c.botulinum has enough potential to destroy mankind. Cthulhu would however make for a more cinematic apocalypse.


That's what could be lurking in your baked beans. Image taken from marlerblog.com.

According to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, some of the favourite party tricks of c.…

The Moral Panic Surrounding Seal Clubbing

A seal basking in the sun. Apparently it tastes like chicken.

Ever since the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) kicked Glen Benton's ass, I've been intrigued by these vigilante fanatics. I am a recovering Protestant, with a mind warped by petty indoctrinations concerning the dangers of sex, drugs and Satan.

Ever since reading Rock-musiek: Die reg om te weet (Rock music: The right to know) by Dr Rodney 'Die Rod' Seale, and subsequently discovering that his claims were largely baseless and his concerns largely unfounded, I've been intrigued by rock music and by extension, heavy metal.

His other book, Satanisme: Die reg om te weet (Satanism: The right to know), sparked the Promethean flame in my life, and for this I am eternally indebted to Dr Seale. I've since been cautious to jump on the bandwagon of any moral panic, preferring to evaluate the claims of moral watchdogs critically before I do something stupid I might regret later. Like chaining mys…

Cherish Your Life: Saw (2004) Review

Conclusion
A grizzly tale, but not a gory one in the horror-porn torture porn gorno tradition of Hostel. Saw is strictly driven by suspense and intricate plot. Highly entertaining and with more twists in the plot than in a koeksister. A beacon of original light shining through the darkness of politically correct angsty teen creature features.




One of Tannie Marie's koeksisters. Tannie Marie ships koeksisters all over America, bringing a touch of Boere culture to the new world.

Plot
Two men find themselves in a locked bathroom, while on videotape. No, it's not George Michael and a member of the Village People. It is Dr Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes) and photographer Adam Faulkner (Leigh Whannell). They find a corpse between them, which holds a tape recorder and a gun. Talk about a silver lining. They each find a cassette in their pockets, with their names on it. The cassettes instruct Dr Gordon to kill Adam within a given time frame.

Of course doctors usually save lives, with the notab…